As I watched my daughter and her friend compete together in a three-legged race at camp this summer, I was struck with how much the two of them have grown up. The days are long, but the years are short! That moment, smiling, watching them laugh, captured our last leader’s session at Camp KidJam this year!
Kids grow up!
They are changing physically, mentally, culturally, relationally, emotionally and morally.
You can’t influence someone you don’t know!
We want every kid to experience God’s love and relationship!
Read their mind so kids at every age can know they can win!
They need to know what we expect of them:
-can expect too little of them
-can expect too much of them
Know how they think:
- they are most like adults in feelings, not in thinking
- more info does not make them think like us
- Meet them where they are at and how they think!
-They think like scientists…discover through repetition & application. Like evidence! “See LOOK!”
They need to hear the same story at different ages because they will learn a different facet during each phase!
Abstract concepts…concrete minds!
Imagination: Kids think, “In order to make anything a reality you have to dream about it first!”
Science starts with a question. Kids have lots of questions!
Answers are not always concrete- we need to make them concrete/literal.
Tie something they do know to something they don’t know!
- Superhero saves= conviction
Interpret Emotional and Moral Development:
- Help a kid become more of what God created them to be!
- When they are sad, lonely, etc it’s because they ARE…you can’t say stop or will those feelings away.
- Deal with it in a safe place to become a better version of who God wants them to become.
Recognize and Manage Emotional Development:
- Temper: lack of emotional intelligence
- Help them understand they have an impact on the world around them.
-Consequences have actions
-Next time angry: what am I going to do? - Relate to others: empathy (most kids don’t have this) and love
Moral Development:
- Understand actions have consequences
- Need a coach!
- More than giving them information!
- Interpret and influence their motivation (Why are they doing what they are doing? Why do they feel bad about themselves?)
- Fueled by love!
- Ultimately learns discernment (sees the crossroads)
Help Elementary Mature in Faith:
- One story/One bottom line
- Real illustrations that apply to their lives
- Make it fun!
Help Middle Schoolers Mature in Their Faith:
- Connect the dots: solve problems on their own; give question to lead them to discovery; let them fail and learn actions have consequences; better to let them fail when the risk is low and they have a safe place to land!
- Expect a crisis: we don’t have all the answers and don’t pretend to; offer your trust; connect timeless Truth to today
- Be consistent: small group leader in their life!
Discover Their World - Kids at every phase want to feel like they belong.
Mental and cultural changes cause tension:
- Creates a platform to discover who they are
- “I” questions (identity)
- Relationships create a safe place to resolve who they are.
- Home is safe: starts with parents
- Church is safe: can ask hard questions and not just told “Have faith.”
- Kids need to know they have a place they can be who they are and let down their guard.
- Buffer in every crisis is love.
- Even better than love…like! A kid wants to be liked! You WANT to hang out with me!
Kids will forget what you say and do, but not how you made them feel!
michelemariekotasek 